Who gets Angry Faster and Scarier? The Teacher or The Parent?
Quick Question: Who gets angry faster and scarier–The Teacher or The Parent?
Here’s what happened to Nicole this morning.
At 6.30 a.m., just before leaving the house, she came to me with a Spelling Book and Pen. You see, she forgot to get my signature on her latest spelling test.
This may seem perfectly ok to you, but in our household, I’ve laid down the rules since Primary One that Mummy is NOT signing anything at 6 a.m. in the morning. They know that if they want any test/consent forms/documents signed, they need to show me the night before, so that I have time to read and digest and scold, if necessary. Signing stuff early in the morning is a huge loophole for every child, and I was determined to plug it!
So naturally I said NO! I’m not signing any spelling test.
And she burst into tears, and she sobbed and sobbed, “Mr Yeo will scold me, he will give me a Pink Slip” (This Pink Slip is some punishment paper that the teacher can give out, and if a student has 3 pink slips, he goes to the Principal’s office)
I held my ground. And I said something that shocked myself (at 6.30 a.m.!)
“Why can’t Mummy be angry and not sign the book?
You don’t want Mr Yeo to get angry, but you don’t mind Mummy getting angry?”
And that’s when I realised what has been staring at my face all this while. The kids are more afraid of their teachers than of me! They would not risk the wrath of a teacher, but are quite willing to risk the parents’ anger. And this explains why “I must bring the Green pen tomorrow”, “We must take a picture of the flower and print it out for tomorrow”, “I cannot bring a paper file, it must be plastic” etc etc etc etc
Are your kids like this too? Would you have lowered your resolve and signed the silly spelling book? Do you feed that fear?
Btw, I signed the book in the end…
hum… personally, I would just sign. But with a very stern warning and only because it’s spelling – wont take long to screen through it and make some mental notes (if necessary). I think fear has a place in school (I might be wrong). I would be worried if my kids are fearless, ya know, bo chap kind. So erm, may not be the best-est thing to do, but I would sign it anyway.
I think it’s true that often kids are more scared of their teachers than their parents who they know so well and can sometimes find ways to get around things with!
I agree children seem to be more scared of their teachers than of their parents – I look at it as they know their parents have unconditional love for them and they don’t know their teachers feel the same way. They know you’ll forgive them, but trying to ask for forgiveness from someone that hasn’t been in their life that long is a lot scarier than someone who has always been there. You’re a great mom!
Haha. I can relate, because my son is the same way with his teachers!
I don’t know what I would have done. However, I do know that kids are typically “more comfortable” with their parents than they are other adults.
Yep…def more concerned with what their teacher feels. I’ve used it against them sometimes though…LOL…”I’m going to tell Mrs. So-And-So about your behavior!” and they stop.
We home school so I am the parent and the teacher. In our case he doesn’t want to make either one of us angry. lol I guess it has some benefits.
I’m pretty sure I would have caved and signed it too. However, I’m sure there would have been a little lecture to go along with it. 😉
I laughed so hard at this.
When I taught in public schools, I was always amazed by parent expressions of surprise when I would tell them how well behaved their child was. It was almost as if I must have been mistaken!
I certainly do not think its a case of a parent vs. teacher. I think it’s a mutual fear of upsetting both. At school they would have a classroom of kids to compete with and a classroom of kids who knew if you misbehaved or not. Plus, I admit, as a teacher, I used a LOT more positive reinforcement with my classroom than I do with my OWN kids.
A lot of the time, though, teachers do use a “parental contact” as a consequence and kids act equally as upset about that.
I probably would’ve caved, but after a stern talking to.
I would have signed it because I don’t want her getting in trouble in school (or the teacher to think that there is no parental involvement at home), but we definitely would talk it through at home.
I don’t know, I probably wouldn’t have signed it because they need to learn to be responsible and not leave things until the last minute.
I definitely think kids fear their teachers and maybe even respect them more than their parents. I think as parents our standards are more flexible than teachers and their aren’t peers to compare themselves to at home.
I agree with this – as a parent who home schooled, my daughter was always talking back or saying things to me that she would never have done with a school teacher. When I confronted her about whether she would act that way with a teacher, she said no. When I asked then why she did with me, she was because I know you will still love me anyway…. sigh.
I would have ended up signing it to so they didn’t get a pink slip. But I would’ve given a warning that the next time, I may not be so willing.