Recently, I was hit with a sudden thought about Nadine and her friends.
She’s a compliant girl who is easy going. But she will not aggressively make friends. She’s more the “let others make friends with me” type. And as part of the natural protective instincts we have, she’s been very sheltered with regards to her friends. Other than her classmates, she has no friends of her age. All her other friends are either Nicole’s or Nathan’s. That means she doesn’t really have her own friends.
I realised this when I saw the kids playing one day. She’s a happy to follow along, being the little Mei Mei, be looked after, sometime be first to have a go at stuff, and sometimes be neglected.
It pains me. And it’s not the kids’ fault. They do their best to include her. Her siblings always think of her (although there are times they forget cos things are so fun). But she just not able to play with all these older kids at the same level. And I’m not even considering her cognitive development! When I do, the difference is more stark.
I need to make friends with kids who are same age as Nadine. Gosh, but does that make me a control freak? That I have to help my kid make friends? I am so reluctant to do this. Yet if I don’t, she would not break out of her shell and have fun with kids of her age.
Some mummies will say, let it go. She will make friends naturally. She’s only five… And I would say, She’s already five and she still has no friends of her own.
Is this one of the many worries of parenthood? Or is this one of the issues I have to bring up to the therapist? I just want my girl to be developed socially too. That’s ok right?
This is part of a series I’ve started – Therapy 101, to document Nadine’s developmental struggles and victories, and to journal my own learning experiences as she goes through hers.