Serve your children

Recently, I heard from a dear friend who just got married. Let’s call her Karen. She’s staying with her husband’s family for now, while awaiting for their new home. And as we were catching up with her new life, Karen made an interesting comment, “Why do mothers bring up their sons to be served?”

Apparently, in her husband’s household, Mum does everything. She prepares breakfast for the family, cleans the house, does the laundry etc. I guess that’s quite common, if you have a mummy who is a homemaker. BUT, the issue came when Karen’s husband (plus his brother, plus the dad) will wait at the dining table for food. The women (that’s Mum, and Karen) have to serve the men their coffee, eggs, fish, chicken, noodles, rice, newspaper, slippers etc!!

She says, the coffee pot is on the table. But either Mum or me herself has to pour the coffee out for the men. The kitchen is three steps away, but the men will just plonk themselves at the table, while the women brought the food out from the kitchen.

Knowing Karen, she has no issues serving her husband, her father in law, or for the matter, her brother in law. But she found it incredulous that anyone would bring up boys to be waited hand and foot on. She spoke to her husband, and found out that’s how it has been since he was a kid! Mum does everything!

TWO issues here:

  1. Boys who are brought up not to do anything around the house
  2. Boys and Girls who are brought up not to do anything around the house

I don’t want to start a gender debate here. So let’s deal with #2. Why are some kids brought up, never ever learning how to make their own milo, pour out their own milk, wash a cup, hang the laundry etc? There are really adults out there—full grown men and women who don’t lift a finger in the house for anything.

In our society, it is common to have a domestic helper who does all the household chores. But surely that doesn’t mean the child grows up expecting to be served at all times.

Hmmm… do your kids get to serve their own meals at home? My kids do. They get ready their own cutlery and cups. As they grow older, they either scoop out the food or they bring the food to the table. I don’t want my kids to sit at the table, and expect someone to pour out coffee for them when they are grown ups!

Wanna know what I told Karen? “Your mother in law spoilt her kids!” What do you think?

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What do you think about basic chores and children?

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