BGR-Boy Girl Relationships. A pillar of sorts in our lives. When I look back now, I still remember the silly things I did, the emotional highs and lows, the top of the world feeling, the nervous heart beating and the broken heart getting crushed. (I’m sure some of you are with me in this, while some are still going thru it now!)
Nonetheless, there’s an unspoken & unwritten rule that kids shouldn’t be involved in BGR. I’m not sure if it’s a cultural thing. Or simply a protective parent instinct. We don’t really want our kids to start dating in primary school. (not secondary school for me too!, but that’s another topic altogether) If you have primary school kids, your main focus is getting him the necessary academic foundation, life skills and values. All that I-Love-You nonsense have no place at this stage.
I have two daughters, which possibly explains this post. (It is very daughter focused!) When Nathan passes his All-Girls-Are-Ewww stage, it’s possible I would need to write another post just for that!
I chatted with my sis, and with some friends. We remembered that we never ever told our parents about our crushes or crushees. We weren’t so sure why, but the general consensus was because we were probably going to get scolded, told off, and given a long lecture about BGRs are for adults, after you finish your studies blah blah blah.
I’m not disagreeing with my parents on their stand on BGR. But I cannot imagine scolding the kids now, telling them off and giving them long lectures about something that is really a big part of growing up. So here’s my response to my kids. The objective is two-fold: Keep communication open between us, and assure that it is really normal and natural to go through such emotions. (And Nicole, if you are reading this, I’m not lying here!)
To be fair to my kids, I’m not sharing about their crush on someone in school. Today, I tell you what happened when Nicole shared about a boy who has a crush on her. I told her about Daddy and his Application Forms.
Here are the details:
Daddy has application forms for all the boys who likes you
The forms are for them to fill in, if they like you. It can be filled in by pencil or pen, or verbally when Daddy interviews them
The purpose of the forms are for Daddy to check if the boy really likes you
Some boys are just lying, and some are just not so sure. The forms will ask them questions that help us find out about their feelings
If Daddy is not around to help administer the forms, Mummy can do it too
For more details about the Application Forms & Interview Questions, please note that they are private and confidential due to the personalised nature of each document.
So, how do you handle the conversation when your child comes back to share about a crush in school?